Last week I was on the phone with my grandma. At some point, she asked me something that I knew she was not going to like the answer to. And yet, I replied honestly without trying to explain myself or trying to convince her or caring about the impact my answer was going to have.
At first, she was strongly disagreeing but very shortly after, she admitted not being sure of the answer herself and then changed topics and that was it, we ended up having a nice talk.
When I hung up and reflected on the conversation, I realized that it went this way because I had owned my truth. I had simply said what I truly think, which gave her the green light to say what she thought/ felt too and our point of views were not so different after all.
It felt liberating and empowering.
And yet I still often catch myself not daring to say something because subconsciously I fear the impact/ the reaction the other person is going to have, or because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, or because I’m scared to be taken for a weirdo and die alone, maybe my most subconscious fear of all!
We all have that subconscious fear to a certain degree, it’s normal, we used to need to belong to the tribe to survive. In my opinion, that’s one of the reason we sugarcoat a lot of things we say. Think of your conversations, with work colleagues, family, your partner, are you being super honest 100 % of the time? (And what is it being ‘super honest’? But that deserves another post.) If the answer is no, why not? Of course, probably a thousand reasons. But imagine how it would feel to say what you really think let’s say even 70% of the time? Scary? It’s normal. But after the fear how would it feel? What would you do and not do anymore? Maybe your life would change completely?!
The first step is to become aware of it.
The second step is to embrace our INNER WEIRDOS cause that’s how we become OURSELVES!
Who is in?!